THAT SILLY BOY

what am i going to do with that boy? he called me up and then fell asleep, i mean, passed out, after mumbling some incoherent thought that i couldn't understand. he can't even remember anything except me talking. i know, i talk too much... i guess i get the hint now. sorry... but i was the one who stayed on the phone for about half an hour waiting for him to come back... good thing the phone hung up finally. i would've stayed on all night waiting for that silly boy...

TAROT AND THE JOURNEY OF THE HERO

what follows is the powerpoint slideshow that was presented to yesterday's myth, dream, and symbol class by professor david van nuys, ph.d.

Tarot and the Journey of the Hero
(based on Joseph Campbell's The Hero With A Thousand Faces)
David Van Nuys, Ph.D.
Sonoma State University

The Cycle

Departure

Initiation

Return

Departure: The Call to Adventure

Hero ventures from every day world into unknown

Herald often ugly, loathsome, terrifying, or a beast

Signifies destiny has called hero from some kind of death & rebirth

Departure: Refusal of The Call

Refusal converts the adventure into its negative

Trapped by boredom, hard work, or "culture"

Subject loses power of affirmative action

Life becomes meaningless

e.g. Death of A Salesman

Departure: Supernatural Aid

Protective Figure

Often a little old crone or wise old man

Think "Yoda"

Represents benign protecting power of destiny

We follow the guide "to the peril of all our rational ends"

Departure: Crossing of The First Threshold

Often a guardian at the threshold

E.g. Temple Fu dogs or lions outside public buildings

Purpose to warn off those not ready for the journey

Protective though terrifying

Guardian must be passed by if the adventure is to continue

Departure: The Belly of The Whale

Worldwide womb image of being swallowed by a whale

Jonah

Pinnochio

The journey is down, into the darkness

Represents death and rebirth

In a kind of self-annihilation, the hero goes inward to be born again

Initiation: The Road of Trials

After passing the threshold, hero must pass succession of trials

Fairytales

Don Quixote

Jack Kerouac: On The Road

World literature of miraculous tests and ordeals

Hero aided by advice, amulets, helpers

Supported by unseen powers: "The Force"

Symbolically, the journey into the unconscious

Initiation: The Meeting with The Goddess

The ultimate adventure when the barriers and ogres have been overcome represented by...

"the mystical marriage of the triumphant hero-soul with the Queen Goddess of the world"

Initiation: Woman as Temptress

Dual aspect of woman: terrible and benign

Good Mother/Bad Mother images

The virgin and the whore

Represents projections of those parts the hero has not accepted in himself

Initiation: Atonement with The Father

At-one-ment with the father (God) happens when the ego lets go of superego & id and dies to itself

The hero's pride needs to be broken

Initiation: The Ultimate Boon

Boon= blessing, benefit, or gift

Scaled to the stature of the hero

Too often, hero wishes for something material or trivial rather than perfect illumination

The Return

Sometimes hero blisses out and refuses return

Challenge of The Return is to bring back the boon to the world

Challenge is to bring the contents of the Ucs. or spiritual insight for the benefit of others

Rip Van Winkle

Ideally, the hero returns as the master of two worlds

The inner and the outer

The spiritual and the material

The temporal and the eternal

-Departure

The Call to Adventure

Refusal of The Call

Supernatural Aid

Crossing the First Threshold

The Belly of The Whale
-Initiation

The Road of Trials

The Meeting with The Goddess

Woman as Temptress

Atonement with The Father

The Ultimate Boon
-Return

SEX AND MY PSYCH CLASS

class has become quite interesting if not outright entertaining. tonight we talked about wilhelm reich and his fascination with sex. i mean, this guy had more sex on the mind than freud. but what do you expect from a man who as a 3 year old wanted to know where babies came from, at age 4 1/2 slept with his brother's nurse, when he was 11 he had sexual experiences with farm animals, at 12 had intercourse with the cook daily for years, and by the age of 15 visited brothels daily...

if you'd like to read more on your own, feel free to check out our class lecture notes that are posted by the professor online at Wilhelm Reich Lecture Notes.

latest teachings... psych class can be more than just a lesson in psych... you can learn a lot about sex as well...

song lyric/quote of the moment... "may i touch your buttocks?" --prof. to student for demonstration purposes

BIRTHDAY???

yay! my birthday is tomorrow... i guess? my silly goose is the bestest. yay! i always wanted a bag of air, and hey, i got three bags of air. except that i can't use them as a floating device, or play with them, or put them over my head. oh darn. i guess they'll just have to go on my wall. of course now yael is probably going to wonder why i have bags of air on my wall... hmm... no, really. spongebob. yay! now we have something to do for my silly goose's birthday weekend.

i love you silly goose. silly silly goose.

THE ROOMMATE CHRONICLES: PART I

so, i guess we all have roommate troubles, and while i think i've been pretty lucky (just ask my sister about her psycho roommate), we still have our problems...

two of my roommates have decided that they do not want to be a part of our community. they have isolated themselves and have not made the effort. while this is fine, it keeps coming down to not respecting others in the apartment.

basic rules: clean up after yourself; if you use someone else's stuff, replace it; clean up after yourself; don't be super loud when everyone's trying to sleep; pick up after yourself; close and lock your windows and doors; pick up after yourself... do we see a recurring theme here???

some people just don't learn. six of us have to live together. i would hope that we could all get along and respect each other. we'll have to see what comes of it all. apartment meeting is being planned. hopefully we can all sit down together and have a good discussion about what's been going on.


latest teachings... if you want something done right, do it yourself...

song lyric/quote of the moment... ...you're living a dream, don't you be a slob...

MIDTERM MADNESS IS OVER!!!

i feel so great! i just got my midterm back from my english class, the one that i was super worried about, and i got a 90!!! that's right, a 90!!! yipee!!! i'm so happy!


latest teachings... it pays to spend the extra time on your papers...

song lyric/quote of the moment... i'm so excited... i just can't hide it...

SILLY GOOSE.

my silly goose has a silly geese family. they are the best! they came up here and rescued/kidnapped me for the weekend. we went to byron and visited uncle rusty and aunty virginia and went to san fran to see the penguins, but best of all, i got to spend time with my silly goose, my sweet pea, my love ;) we skipped to IHOP, took pictures of signs, and had many laughs, but we didn't get to pet a luma... :(

ANY TIME NOW...

after finishing my midterm for anthro, vacuuming the floor, and taking my shower, i find that the only thing missing is my love. his return should be soon. ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TWO GREAT PEOPLE!

just want to wish my roommate wendy, no i'm not at wendy's right now... and my good friend kelly, who likes pink but isn't gay (???) a super happy birthday!

EAT THE COOKIE! there's no cake!!!

MY HERO

i've really been thinking about that whole concept about the hero and all and i've realized that if i have a hero, it would have to be david bezayiff. he is an inspiration and a truly good man.

NO MORE PAPERS THIS WEEK!

i have finished my paper! i am happy. :) just need to study for my anthro midterm that's tomorrow. :(

but this isn't keeping me down. i will see my love and his parents soon. that's right, they're coming up here tomorrow! =D i can't wait...

A BLESSED LIFE INDEED AND KNOWING YOU'RE IN LOVE

there are so many blessings in my life. i have everything i could ever ask for and more. my love is always by my side, encouraging me and comforting me when i need it the most. i have a blessed life...

something i've wondered is, how do you know if you're truly in love if you've never been in love before? i guess you just know. you know when you look into that person's eyes and by the way they look at you. you know when you aren't the same when they are not around, when you long to be in their arms, and once there, never want to leave. you know by their touch. you know by what they say, and even more by the things left unsaid. you know when you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and concerns and then them reassuring you that everything will be okay. you know when they are not only your love, but your best friend and you would do anything and everything for them. you know when you love them more than anyone else and nobody comes even close, how the love you share is different than your love for others, and when you love them more than you love yourself... a very blessed life indeed...

I WILL SURVIVE!

i am home.

LATEST ADDITION

just added a new blog to post extras on in case anyone wants to view it. thought i'd keep this one for daily happenings and have another for misc. junk.


http://amesnott.blogspot.com

SO... YOU WANTED TO KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT ME...

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla




Yoshimi - "Happy Beauty"
Sponsored by www.life-blood.cjb.net


What Would Your Japanese Name Be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla




You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
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Your element is Spirit. You are above most Earthly
things or like to think you are. More
mysterious than any of the other elements and
twice as dangerous. You tend to be a loner and
whatever you belive in it verges on fanatical.
Be careful because Spirit has no true substance
and can get lost.


What's Your Element?
brought to you by Quizilla




Congratulations!! You're a glass of water!! . .. um


What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla




You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected vibe." Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.


What Feeling Do You Represent?
brought to you by Quizilla




schizotypal


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla




I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your
romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming
tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants,
Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do
think that love can overcome anything. You may
be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in
the right place. You've probably got one of
those relationships where proper nouns have
been replaced with "Snookums" and
"Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness
overload.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla




dormancy


WHAT IS YOUR STATE OF LIFE?
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YOU ARE PATRICK THE STARFISH!


WHAT SPONGEBOB CHARACTER ARE YOU?
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You are *BALANCED*
congratulations! you're average. great, how
interesting...


What's Your Adjective?
brought to you by Quizilla

GUEST SPEAKER JEREMY TAYLOR

today we had guest speaker Jeremy Taylor, author of Dream Work: Techniques for Discovering the Creative Power in Dreams, in my myth, dream, and symbol class. what follows comes from a handout that he passed out to us and works as an excellent guide to starting in on your own dream work.


The Basic Dream Work TOOL KIT
The 6 Most Basic Hints for Dream Work are:

1. All dreams speak a universal language and come in the service of health and wholeness.
There is no such thing as a "bad dream" -- only dreams that sometimes take a dramatically negative form in order to grab our attention.

2. Only the dreamer can say with any certainty what meanings his or her dream may have.
This certainty usually comes in the form of a wordless "aha!" of recognition. This "aha" is a function of memory, and is the only reliable touchstone of dream work.

3. There is no such thing as a dream with only one meaning.
All dreams and dream images are "over-determined" and have mulitple meanings and layers of significance.

4. No dreams come just to tell you what you consciously already know.
All dreams break new ground and invite you to new understandings and insights.

5. When talking to others about their dreams it is both wise and polite to preface your remarks with words to the effect that "if it were my dream..." and to keep this commentary in the first person as much as possible.
This means that even relatively challenging and confrontive comments can be made in such a way that the dreamer may actually be able to hear and internalize them. It also can become a profound psycho-spiritual discipline -- "walking a mile in your neighbor's moccasins."

6. All dream group participants should agree at the outset to maintain anonymity in all discussions of dream work.
In the absence of any specific request for confidentiality, group members should be free to discuss their experiences openly outside the group, provided no other dreamer is identifiable in their stories. However, whenever any group member requests confidentiality, all members should agree to be bound automatically by such a request.

© 2003 Jeremy Taylor


for more info, you can contact him at the following:

Jeremy Taylor
10 Pleasant Lane, San Rafael, CA 94901
Phone: 415.454.2793
Fax: 415.455.0276
Email: ktaylor597@aol.com
www.jeremytaylor.com

WHICH MYTHOLOGICAL FORM ARE YOU?

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optimism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT

i can't believe it, but i finished!!! the feeling is so great! now on to bigger and better things... wait... oh no... i still have to study for my tough history of modern psych exam. AHHHHH!!! well... one down, one to go. wish me luck...

three days of classes before i'm in the arms of my love again. :) can't help but be in a good mood :)

ON THE WINGS OF LOVE

Just smile for me and let the day begin
You are the sunlight that lights my heart within
I’m sure that you’re an angel in disguise
Come take my hand and together we will ride

On the wings of love up and above the clouds
The only way to fly is on the wings of love
On the wings of love only the two of us together flying high
Flying high up on the wings of love

You look at me and I begin to melt
Just like the snow when the ray of sun is felt
And I’m crazy about you baby can't you see
I’d be so delighted if you would come with me

On the wings of love up and above the clouds
The only way to fly is on the wings of love
On the wings of love only the two of us together flying high
Flying high up on the wings of love

Yes you belong to me
I’m yours exclusively
Right now we live and breathe together
Inseparable it seems
We’re flowing like a stream
Running free traveling on the wings of love

On the wings of love up and above the clouds
The only way to fly is on the wings of love
On the wings of love only the two of us together flying high
Flying high up on the wings of love
Up and above the clouds
The only way to fly
Is flying high up on the wings of love
Only the two of us together flying high

--clay aiken

A VISIT, FOOD, MORE SHOPPING, AND A CUP OF COFFEE

my dad and shar came to visit yesterday. they came up to napa for some antique show thing and stopped by here afterward before going back down to modesto. of course they got done a whole lot sooner than expected and called me up around 10:30, when i was still asleep. of course, i had just looked over to see what time it was, so i wasn't all the way out again yet. we went out to lunch at the black bear restaurant and then came back here for a short while before they took off again. it was nice to see them. they even brought me a halloween treat. i already ate all the candy... but it was good. :)

wendy, bri, and i then went to old navy and looked around. i couldn't believe that their selection of socks was so sorry. plus, the one outfit that i just loved was way too small for me. it was a turtle costume, complete with hood. gosh darn it, all the best clothes and shoes are for little kids, or i guess rene' could fit into them, since she's an extra extra small. we then went to starbucks and got drinks before heading to target to look around. i probably spent more than i should have. in fact i know i did. however, i got a cool get well card for my friend. ;) on our way home, we stopped at the panda express and picked up some chinese food. i was real glad too, since i've been craving chinese food.

night found wendy and myself alone here again. that's cool though. we've had some time to talk and get to know each other on a closer level. it's nice to have someone to talk to and share stories with who hasn't heard them a thousand times already.

anyways... gotta study study study. i've been neglecting my schoolwork, and i dread this week will reflect this lack of motivation toward my studies.

CAP'T TOE'S EARLY MORNING WAKE UP CALL

didn't get to bed until around 4:30am last night, or, early morning, if you'd rather. you might then wonder why am i up now, especially when i don't even get up this early on a school day... well, that would have to be because my good friend natalie called me, making her morning wake up calls to everyone, and i couldn't pass up the great opportunity to talk to her. it's been a while since i've talked to my cap't toe. it was great to hear from her. yay! she's planning a trip for us to the price is right!!!


latest teachings... a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

song lyric/quote of the moment... karma police arrest this man he talks in maths... tHis is what you get. tHis what you get. tHis is what you get when you mess with us... --radiohead

SHOPPING, DINNER, & HOMOCOMING 2003

went shopping today with my roommates; bri, yael, and wendy. we went to ross and wendy tried on everything in the store. well, maybe not everything, but let's just say that we each took the maximum number of pieces (8) into the dressing rooms.

afterward, we went to dinner at fresh choice, my first time eating there. it was pretty good, but i'm still stuffed. too much food. however, bri stuffed a bowl in her bag for me. it's really cool. it even has a handle. i just wish it were a little larger, so i could wear it around as a hat.

we got back and went to homocoming 2003 at the cooperage. not many people there, but saw brady and our csa. danced with a purple balloon. my roommate did a handstand. pretty cool indeed. kinda just got back...


latest teachings... ahhh!!! there's too much information eeking out of my brain... it's gonna burst! please, no more teachings... i need a vacation...

song lyric/quote of the moment... "i like pink, but i'm not gay!" --kelly

NEXT WEEKEND

today finds me with excitement, as i found out i get to go down to porterville next weekend with peita. i just might be able to go to her class, as well. yay! yipee! i get to see my love. plus, my dad and shar are coming up tomorrow :)

hey, it's all good...


latest teachings... $24 to ride the airport bus from rohnert park to san fran...

song lyric/quote of the moment...
In mezzo del camin di nostra vita
Mi ritrovai per una selva oscura
Che la diritta via era smarrita

E quanto a dir qualera e cosa dura
Questa selva selvaggia...

In the midpoint of this journey that is our life
I found myself passing through a dark forest,
The right path through which had disappeared.

And what a hard thing it is to speak
of that savage forest...
--Dante, Divine Comedy

ENTERTAINING PSY CLASSES...

my psych classes have developed into quite entertaining classes.

yesterday in my myth dream and symbol class we had a guest speaker come and we made collages. we tore pictures and words out of magazines that jumped out at us and glued them on a large piece of paper. to get into a meditative state, we first listened to a recording of some drumming. it was so relaxing. i felt as though i were asleep, yet still awake. when we finished our collages, we walked around the room so we could see each other's art. this was an awesome exercise. one thing that we all noticed, was how we all lost track of time... afterward, we met in our dream groups to discuss dreams further... next week should be another great week of class, as the author of one of the books we read, jeremy taylor, will be a guest speaker. i look forward to this...

i started out my next class, history of modern psych, falling asleep. and hey, that's with a mocha in me that i got between classes. however, class soon livened up as we discussed freud and his focus on sexuality. our professor is quite amusing, and while most of the time he merely goes on and on; blah blah blah, every once in a while he can be quite entertaining. this was definitely one of these times. well, a bunch of girls spoke up and disagreed with freud's idea of penis envy, and one girl said that if there's that, then the opposite should also be true. this got the prof talking about how a woman's breasts are much larger than the male's tiny little anatomy. how they give out milk, and how the penis barely gives out anything. "more comes out when i sneeze," he exclaimed, the class going into hysterics. i don't know... you had to have been there to see him. then, he went to the wall like he was in the bathroom and was explaining how the wall appears to be quite interesting, and meanwhile, you're reading what's written on it--"yours is smaller than everyone else's," forcing you to look around you to confirm whether or not there is any truth to the statement. yeah, so hey, class wasn't all boring... however we have a midterm next week, so wish me luck, as his are hecka tough...


latest teachings... "the right 50% was big. the wrong 50% has caused a lot of trouble..." --v. daniels in response to freud's being about 50% right...

song lyric/quote of the moment... "where IT and OVER-I were, there shall I be." --freud

COMING OUT WEEK...

this week is coming out week here at sonoma state. let's just say that i was thouroughly disappointed when i had to miss free rainbow sherbet last night. however, all is not lost... i still have a chance to make it to homocoming 2003 tomorrow night! yipee!!!

...and no, i'm not trying to suggest anything by this...


latest teachings... life is oh so fragile and precious...

song lyric/quote of the moment... love conquers all...

WORST DAY :(

today has been a really bad day and i can't wait for it to end, which will be very shortly. as if i haven't been sad enough lately, i just found out this morning that one of my favorite people has cancer. i was so sad, i just started crying. i feel so blessed though. i have so many people around me who are wonderful. my love is the best. he called me up to make sure i was okay and that sure made me feel a lot better. :)

after talking to my friend tonight, who told me that this person will be just fine, i felt a whole lot better. he's back at school, and is already making jokes. i just feel so bad, cause i saw him on monday when i went by school and didn't really get to talk to him. he sure didn't look like himself, and i thought it was strange for him to say that it was great to be back, but i didn't think much of it at the time.

he's one of my favorite peoples. i just love him so much. my thoughts and prayers are with him.

DEBBY... DEBBY... I LOVE YOU...

don't feel left out. you know i love you. i mean hey, you're my mommy 1/2. just please... DON'T EAT WORMY!!!

thanks for being there for me. thank you for being there for my love. you are the definition of the ideal friend. you always tell us how blessed you are to have us in your life, but it is us that are truly blessed. thank you for your understanding, for your patience, and your love...

you are the best!

BEST WEEKEND

this past weekend was the best. let me share a bit of it with you...

friday...

i went down to good ol’ porterville for the annual relay for life event. this time there were lots of people on the county transit. lots of students riding to school. the bus driver remembered that i was headed to the amtrak bus stop, which was pretty cool. waited for a while for the train which was late again. had to pick up my bus tickets in martinez. paid $17 for them on top of the train ride. now what’s up with that? train was a bit late this time. mom picked me up at corcoran. she gave me a big hug and almost didn’t let me go. she even thanked the conductor for bringing me home safe. i think i turned into a truck. what’s that i said about if it’s not my friends embarrassing me, it’s my parents...?

when we got in to porterville, i had to stop by target to pick up a few things--an early birthday present for kym, final fantasy tactics advance; a usb cable, or ubs, according to some people; got some cute little sodas in small cans; found a holder for my calculator that was on sale for under $3; and a card for mommy rene’ for her birthday--it was a teletubbies card that you could color on the inside. :) then, of course i had to stop by subway. i called kevin on the way and he was sad that i was going to subway when he wasn’t working. in fact, he had just gotten home. at first he didn’t believe i was there, because he couldn’t hear anything, but then i told him that it smelled like subway and asked him if he could smell it. he couldn’t of course. so then i told him to smell himself and hey, he could smell it. :) anyways, i had to get my sandwich and one for kym as well, since she had never had a sandwich from subway. i couldn’t believe it. i mean, who has never had a subway sandwich before? she wanted a spicy italian with american cheese only. kinda plain, but hey, that’s what she wanted.

then, i went to debby’s house. the kids were excited to see me. rachel told me that i’m her sister, according to our heavenly father. we wrapped my love’s birthday present. of course i couldn’t wait and had to give it to him early. i wrapped andy’s speedo up as a gag gift with a note saying that i hoped he wasn’t disappointed and to look in the pantry. then i wrapped up mommy and mommy 1/2’s birthday presents--their matching sonoma state mom shirts--hehe, and kym’s game.

debby made thanksgiving dinner: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and chocolate pie and peach cobbler. i filmed her taking the turkey out. it kinda fell apart, but hey, we got a good laugh at it. :) debby’s the best!

my kevin finally got there and we ate our thanksgiving meal. however, he couldn’t eat at first, as his dog had just killed some poor old lady’s dog from down the street.

after we finished eating, my love got to open his present. except of course he was kinda scared to open it up from the clues i had given him earlier. he took forever unwrapping his gift. let’s just say that i almost ran out of videotape in the video camera. it sure was funny watching him though. when he unwrapped the speedo, he didn’t realize what it was until he unrolled it and saw SPEEDO on it. of course, then it went flying across the room. eventually he tried it on--over his pants of course--but then wondered why it wouldn’t fit... as he looked in the pantry for his “real” gift, emilee became impatient and found it for him, giving it to him, but not before bouncing it on top of the garbage can. we couldn’t have planned it better.

eventually he opened it. luckily, he was also surprised at what was inside. hopefully it made up for the real elephant he thought he was getting...

after this we watched a beautiful mind, since debby had not seen it before. then, we put on spongebob and kym fell asleep before it even got to the texas episode. i mean hey, that’s the all time greatest episode right there. what’s so great about dumb ol’ texas? i mean... can we say people from texas are dumb?

like all good things, there comes an end. the day was awesome. and hey, it’s only the end of friday... i still have the weekend, eh?

saturday...

didn’t go to sleep until around 5am. when i got home, instead of getting some beauty sleep, like i should have, i cleaned up around my room, which was still messy from the storm that swept through and blew all my stuff down on my desk and the floor before i left for school. mom woke me up at 6:30am, so i got a short nap in, then we got ready to go to the relay. we got there around 7am and they were doing last minute setup. it was great seeing people i haven’t seen in a while. linda had me set up the lap counters this year; volunteers from one of the teams. relay kicked off with members of a native american tribe with their drumming and dancing. survivors lined the track to walk the first lap behind the boy scouts and the giant flag flown over ground zero. took a nap on marcy’s cot mattress. helped mom bring food down from the other side of the field. there were sandwiches from port of subs and hoagies and i had to wait for the subway sandwiches, which finally arrived. i made mom get the tray of turkey... oops, i mean ham sandwiches. ;) there was lots of food, entertainment, and people walking. debby, kym, and emilee came by and kym, emilee, and i played on the bounce toys. kym and i didn’t get to go in the bounce house, which made me kinda sad, but i got to try the velcro wall, which was awesome! that was the coolest ever, except i couldn’t get much height. it sure was a cool suit though. i would’ve just worn the suit around. sure wish i had one. *hint hint* anyways, kym and i did the challenge rope climbing thing and i got hurt. besides the fact that i burned blisters in the bottoms of both feet, i tore up my hands on the rope and bled all over... then, we did another one and hey, i actually won! anyways, as debby, kym, and emilee were leaving, my friend tracey came and we hung out for a while. except she wanted to walk or run or something and i wasn’t about to. of course i did later when mrs. regier, or should i say susan, as she said i could now call her, was walking. tracey walked with us too. i walked for about half an hour and we had a great conversation...in my slippers, meanwhile micah and stacey following me, stalking me... met up with them and made them stand in line with me as i got dinner. dinner wasn’t bad. pretty yummy. i got two coleslaws though and didn’t eat one. then i was kinda sad cause kevin didn’t get there until later, right before the luminaria ceremony. it was cool though, cause his parents came. i walked the track with mom and johnny, and then met up with kevin and kym and kevin’s parents and we walked around until they started the flag retirement ceremony, which then led to the annual “dude looks like a lady” contest that pulls in the most people of any single event during the relay. the contest this year was what i would call “freakin’ hilarious.” it was the best one ever! marcy hosted it and there were lots of participants who had to fill out a form with their name and answer a few questions. if you’d like to get your hands on a copy, send me a line and three easy payments of $19.95 to order your copy today. but wait, if you order within the next 10 minutes, you pay not three payments of $19.95, but one. that’s right, we’re giving these videos away at a steal. that’s a total cost of only $19.95! orders ship within 4-6 weeks.

mom sent us home to get some sleep what i believe to be sometime between 11 and midnight. yeah, like we were going to go to sleep... i mean, why sleep when we can watch spongebob, right?

sunday...

didn’t do much sunday. kevin had to go to work kinda early, and kym didn’t wake up until after he left. we watched spongebob some and ate leftover sandwiches. kym realized she had to be somewhere and debby had left messages on my phone. kurt finally ended up coming and picking her up. i didn’t do much else that i can recall during the day on saturday. i called amir and setie up and we planned to go to get together. also talked to micah and stacey and they said they’d bring me by some leftover pizza from rosa’s. talked to kevin, who was downloading songs onto his “p-pod” and he was going to his sisters or something. so amir and setie and micah and stacey got to my house at the same time and i went back and forth between their cars while amir talked to kevin on my phone. micah and stacey didn’t want to come with us to starbucks and so they took off to the other coffee place. i went with amir and setie and we went to starbucks and saw the romans. it was cold in there, so we went and sat outside and had a nice conversation. it reminded me of how much i miss them. setie was teasing me and amir was teasing her. he told her that we knew that she had a language barrier problem. kevin called and we told him we were at mcdonalds. amir talked to him and embarrassed him, telling him how he loved him and stuff. my poor kevin. we stayed until they were closing and then we parted and kevin and i went back to my house.

monday...

monday morning it was awefully hard to get up. of course angelica had to call me at 7:40am, asking me when i was going to get to school and telling me that she was already there waiting for me to show up. and then there were the several phone calls from debby, definitely not at the best times, asking us when we were going to be there. boy do our friends love us! new rule, “don’t call us, we’ll call you!” no, actually, i told angelica to call me back to make sure i got up... somehow i missed that call... but hey, she fell for my voice message. haha! i get everyone at least once. hey, i even got myself once...

so we finally dragged our lazy selves up and made it by the college. shower boy had to go home first to take a shower, but the die hard college girl, made her rounds... first stop, admissions and records to see janice and show her my laptop. went by the i.d.e.a.s. office, but michelle was in class. :( then, saw mary jo and muriel and then carol. boy do i love my peoples... off to debby’s. waiting for rene’. i hate wait. took a short trip to see the social sciece department peoples and visited with karen for quite a whiles, missing my chance to speak to mr. osborne before he had to go to class. i made my way back to debby’s and rene’ was there by then. she opened her birthday present up, her sonoma state mom shirt that matches debby’s. saw david. didn’t get to talk much, but i told him i was down for the relay and that they raised a bunch of money. talked to vira. when kevin returned, went to find angelica and charlene. met up with amir and setie for a bit. saw bunches of people who were wondering why i was there. went by the aspc office and talked with brandon some. back to visit charlene, who was back from her lunch break. debby wanted to go to brunch or lunch, but she had to pick up matt and i had to leave soon. went by her office and picked up my laptop with angelica. meanwhile, left kevin in charlene’s office to tell her i wanted to tutor stats. don’t know if he said anything. soon it was time to leave and my grandparents arrived and picked me up to take me back to corcoran. it was nice to see everyone and everything, but i felt kinda rushed and kinda wished that i could’ve just stayed in bed longer. back up here to rohnert park, off to start another three day week of classes...

thank you for this past weekend...

AM I DREAMING?

i feel as though i'm living in a dream--but this isn't just any dream. it is the perfect dream. and standing beside me is him. everything is surreal. can it possibly be real? is it possible to be this happy? i can think back to a time when i only wanted to crawl into a hole and die--the despair that comes when all hope is lost. now that seems like another life. a life that has died for a new one to be reborn. with this rebirth has sprung new hope, a knowledge that was not there before.

i'd always thought i'd been blessed in this life, but now i know that i am. i can think of nothing greater than to have him next to me, completing me. i wonder why it took me so long to open my eyes. blinded by fake beings, shadows lurking deep within, somehow he caught my attention. and now he has my full attention. i am all his.


you are everything to me. i love you not with my whole heart, but my whole being. thank you so much for loving me the way only you can, for letting me be someone special, and for sharing your life with me. if this is a dream, may i never wake up.

i love you always...

your amy

I LOVE MY KEVIN!!!

is there anything more i can say?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!

happy birthday mommy... yeah, if you haven't figured it out already... then you're freakin' retarded. jk. i mean, it's mommy's birthday. so make her a cake and take it to her class and sing happy birthday to her... really, it really is her birthday this time. :)

mommy, no offense, but you're old. you're even older than mommy 1/2...

love you mommy. hope your day is SUPER 'D DUPER :)


while we're on birthdays... happy birthday one day late to mr. keele. that's right, his birthday is one day before mommy's. i owe him some brownies :)

HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I HATE MY STUPID COMPUTER?

so... my computer has decided it doesn't want to connect to the internet. it has failed me again. this just reminds me of what carol once told me... you might stick your hand in a flame once because you don't know you'll get burned. you might stick it in a second time because to confirm that you will indeed be burned. you might even stick it in a third time... but if you stick it in again... you're a stupid idiot who deserves to get burned... wait, did she say that? i don't think those were her words. but i know that's what she meant, anyways... so yeah, perhaps i should go without a computer... oh no, wait... i've touched this computer. i've looked at it! now it's bound to crash or die...

on a lighter note... only about 28 more hours before i get to see my love. :) yipee! i'm jumping for joy. see me jump... ah, ouch... i fell... now everyone's looking over here at me. not good. gonna go crawl in a hole and hide... but oh, hey, what do i care? i'm so excited... yeah... and i can't hide it... wheeeeee!!! and to answer your question, no, i'm not on crack...

i'll leave my other downer news for later cause i'm just too happy at the moment :)

i love you all...


latest teachings... don't touch anything, amy! it'll break, every single time...

song lyric/quote of the moment... by the way, did i tell you how much i hate my stupid computer???

STRANGE INDEED...

amesNott (1:28:43 AM): hey kelly...
responsabolition (1:28:59 AM): my real name?
responsabolition (1:29:00 AM): wow.
responsabolition (1:29:05 AM): strange coming from you.
amesNott (1:29:13 AM): whatever!
amesNott (1:29:21 AM): i know your name!
responsabolition (1:29:36 AM): i never knew.
amesNott (1:29:37 AM): it's kelly michael corwin
responsabolition (1:29:43 AM): strange.
responsabolition (1:29:46 AM): are you stalking me?
amesNott (1:29:54 AM): oh yeah
responsabolition (1:29:55 AM): if you are.
responsabolition (1:29:59 AM): please step off.
amesNott (1:30:00 AM): how'd you know?
amesNott (1:30:07 AM): whatever
amesNott (1:30:18 AM): why would i want to stalk you?
responsabolition (1:30:21 AM): maybe because i can see the glow of your laptop though my window?
amesNott (1:30:30 AM): what?
amesNott (1:30:36 AM): what the?
responsabolition (1:30:37 AM): because im awesome, and oh so rad.
amesNott (1:30:46 AM): of course
amesNott (1:31:00 AM): and your hair is the coolest
amesNott (1:32:03 AM): but i guess i don't need to tell you that
responsabolition (1:32:06 AM): ok.
responsabolition (1:32:14 AM): where are they?
responsabolition (1:32:15 AM): oops
responsabolition (1:32:17 AM): wrong box.
responsabolition (1:32:59 AM): .staffshow
responsabolition (1:33:02 AM): BAH
amesNott (1:33:07 AM): what??
responsabolition (1:33:12 AM): WRONG BOX
amesNott (1:33:16 AM): hey kelly...
responsabolition (1:33:19 AM): hey.
amesNott (1:33:25 AM): are you okay?
responsabolition (1:33:38 AM): are YOU ok?
amesNott (1:33:43 AM): sure
responsabolition (1:33:46 AM): sure.
responsabolition (1:35:18 AM): you're the weird one.
responsabolition (1:35:25 AM): not me, dear dear amy.
amesNott (1:35:29 AM): oh.
amesNott (1:35:31 AM): okay
responsabolition (1:35:38 AM): glad you can see the light.
amesNott (1:35:43 AM): i knew that already though
responsabolition (1:36:28 AM):
"what am i?"
"stupid?"
"no im texas!"
"whats the difference?"
amesNott (1:36:40 AM): hahaha
amesNott (1:37:51 AM): can we say people from texas are dumb?
responsabolition (1:37:56 AM): ...?
responsabolition (1:38:10 AM): bedtime.
responsabolition (1:38:13 AM): nih nih.
amesNott (1:38:16 AM): can we say shoes from texas are dumb?
amesNott (1:38:21 AM): good night kelly
amesNott (1:38:31 AM): you have yourself a good one
responsabolition (1:38:38 AM): "NO!"
responsabolition (1:38:42 AM): can we say shoes from texas are dumb?
amesNott (1:38:43 AM): take care. and stay outta trouble
responsabolition (1:38:46 AM): "no!"
amesNott (1:38:50 AM): that's my job
responsabolition (1:39:21 AM): pees in a can pie.
responsabolition (1:39:24 AM): bye bye.
amesNott (1:39:27 AM): bye
amesNott (1:44:26 AM): kelly's cool. he has the best hair. he's my friend. i knew him before i knew kevin and debby. goodnight my friend. goodnight...

Auto response from responsabolition (1:44:26 AM): benedryl helps me sleep at night.


latest teachings... ....the group forms around who's around you...

song lyric/quote of the moment... "my language is bad i think" --guy from class